Adult Dating

By Janelle.

Zach and I had lived here in Western Mass for over a year before we looked at each other and realized that we had not been out alone once since we moved here.

I know. Unbelievable, right? Over a year without a date?

But here's the thing. It happened so easily. In fact, it is almost scary how easily this happened to us, in large part because of the following:

• We were running short on fun money (the move was really expensive and left us feeling a little strapped, not to mention the craziness of daycare costs).
• Far (far far far) from any friends or family. When we moved here, we didn't know anyone. Not a single, solitary person. No old college friends lived here. No distant family. So it was incredibly isolating. Which leads me to the fact that we were...
• Trying to make new friends. Anytime we actually made the effort to try to find a baby-sitter, it was because we had been invited to a social event and we were trying to make new friends. This led to some fun nights out, but never time alone, something I think is so, so important.
• (and speaking of babysitters) It is really hard to trust a potential baby-sitter when you have no connection to them. Lack of sitters made us feel like we had few options for going out and not spending the whole night worried.
• Plus, the lonely and scary feelings associated with the move made us hunker down as a family, so we were just never without Tate. I felt like we sort of barricaded our little family up in an effort to feel centered. This was nice, in a way, but over time, became too much.

So suffice it to say, our marriage suffered. Without any true alone time together, there were a lot of moments when I felt disconnected from Zach, sort of slowly spinning in my own orbit of Western-Massachusetts-hating-misery. Added to that was the guilt I felt about the move (we moved because of my job), and I felt incredibly alone.

The last year, happily, has been so much better. But I still reflect often on how hard the first two years here were, and work hard to make a conscious effort to prioritize time alone with Zach. That time comes in strange ways now- a late-night glass of prosecco after the kids have gone to bed or 5:00 a.m. oatmeal before work. Our alone time is infrequent but I think we are doing a much better job with it more recently.

And then. The weekend before Christmas a dear friend came to visit, and she gifted us with a date-night. Stayed home watching the boys while we went out. We had a long meal. Good wine. Conversation. I learned Zach's feelings on so many things. I knew that he had thoughts about more than just who was going to pick the kids up from school, but it was amazing to get to really listen, to discuss big issues like policing in the United States, or silly things like the most recent episode of Parks and Rec. And by the end of the night, I was so completely smitten with my husband. I felt giddy. I spent the next week texting him randomly throughout the day, teen-girl texts about how much I missed him, or that I was thinking about his smile, or that I couldn't wait to see him when I got home. 

It was such a powerful reminder of the importance of connection outside the hum-drum ordinariness of our days. 

Z and I have already talked about how we're going to keep this momentum going. Any suggestions? Ways to make more time for each other in a busy life?

Artifact Uprising

By Janelle.

You guys. Now that I am back to O Chickadee, I am completely overwhelmed with what to talk about next. I have two years of amazing things stocked up to share with you! How to choose?! This feels like an impossible task. But choose we must.

So. We have to talk about Artifact Uprising. I knew that this year, I wanted to start creating photo albums of the year, featuring the boys. But despite my long-time love of Nations Photo Lab for high-quality photography prints, I had not yet found a source for a photo album that had a look and feel I loved. Too many plastic-ey printed covers. Too many thin pages. Too shiny a finish. So when I stumbled across Artifact Uprising's website, with their thick paper, linen covers with gorgeous photo sleeves, and matte finishes, I decided to give them a try. I ordered one album just to see if I liked the quality in person as much as I did online. I called it The Life of the Boys 2013, knowing that if I liked the quality, I could do the 2014 version next.

I can't even begin to tell you how pleased I was with the quality of the book! It exceeded every expectation I had- the linen cover, the soft jacket, the quality of the printing, the overall lack of shine... I was thrilled!

Add to it the fact that they have a commitment to our environment and had outstanding customer service (I had a minor problem and they replaced my album lickety-split, with no hassle and a completely friendly demeanor), and I was one happy camper.

They have so many other things to love too. Next up on my list (following my soon-to-be-placed order of The Life of the Boys 2014, of course), are the wooden wall calendar, the postcard pack, and the wood block + print.

What do you think? Is Artifact Uprising your style? Or do you like a shinier, brighter quality to your photo albums?

A New Year

It has been two years since I've been to this space. A lot has happened in two years. Last we talked, our entire family had just relocated to Massachusetts, frantically packing and organizing and setting off on a new adventure. And what a journey it has been. We moved, sight unseen, into a new house, simultaneously becoming renters and renting our own home in Oregon at the same time. We learned that moving a Newfoundland across the country is really (really!) complicated.  We welcomed our sweet baby Ames to the family (having two boys is the best!). And (if I'm being completely honest), really, really struggled to adapt to our new, East coast life.

The whirlwind of something new has such a way of carrying us, doesn't it? All the build-up to the move was so exciting, such a flurry. But then we got here, and we got here in November. I still remember the first night- none of our belongings had arrived yet, there had just been what I now know was an epic October snowstorm (but which, at the time, I assumed was normal for the East coast), and Zach, Tate and I sat in a cold, dark, empty living room with no food, blankets or beds. And a kind neighbor, knowing we had just moved in, brought us over a rotisserie chicken and some mashed potatoes. And because we didn't have any silverware, we made do- using our credit cards to scoop little bites of mashed potatoes into Tate's mouth, like feeding a hungry little bird.

This so reflects how I feel this entire transition has been. Moments of incredibly uncertainty and loneliness and darkness, momentarily illuminated by moments of kindness.

Only now am I beginning to feel like myself again, which is why I felt like now was a good time to get back to this again. To sharing our lives through O Chickadee, and to finding beautiful things, and looking around at my life through the lens of appreciation and gratefulness that I think I lost for the past few years as I struggled to just tread water. I don't know that I was capable of that before now- I felt too sad for all we had lost, all I naively thought we had left behind. But now, it feels like I'm coming out of a fog, and able to realize that here, I had what I needed most all along. My boys.

drawn by Tate, December 2014. In his own words: "this is our whole family at the beach, and Daddy is helping me dig a hole in the sand."

So stay tuned! I know that 2015 is going to be an incredible year for the Holmboe's.

P.S. I wrote this post 3 days ago. Three days! And I haven't been able to push "publish". It feels so real then, doesn't it?

Doesn't the Audrey Hepburn print pictured above make you happy? Me too. The moment I saw it I knew I had to have it. It's available here and is even prettier in person.

In Appreciation

In appreciation of good husbands everywhere. Wow. After spending the last few days home sick, I have NO idea how I could possibly be a parent without Zach. He is amazing.

Weekend Recap

Zach was sick this holiday weekend.  So Tate and I spent time at the park:

And making him a get well card. Happy days.

Feel better soon, Daddy!

P.S. Something we did NOT do? Get Tate his first haircut. What do you think? Is it time?

Homemade Piñatas

A few weeks ago, we continued the celebration of Lindy and Javi's engagement (and soon-to-come wedding in Mexico!) with Lindy's bridal shower.  Lindy's sister Mandy planned the event, and it was beautiful (Mandy brought in all of Lindy's favorite foods from New York, so needless to say, I ate a week's worth of NY pizza and donuts.  Yum). 

But one of my favorite aspects of the event was the handmade homemade piñatas that doubled as party favors.  Brigid and Mandy reviewed the tutorial over on Oh Happy Day! and created the template and purchased the supplies.  The night before the shower a small group of us girls sat around drinking beer, catching up, and making the piñatas. 

I think they turned out so, so cute.  How about you?

Celebrating Margot Part II

Just to be clear, Margot's party took place in Chicago, and I was planning from Portland.  This is one of many parties I have planned from a distance (including Lindy and Javi's engagement party), and I find that the simpler I can be in the food and drink planning, the better.  Margot's shower was no exception, so I went with easy, simple crowd-pleasers.

Starting with gougères.

Have you ever had these before?  In my opinion, they are the hostesses secret weapon.  They are so easy.  You can make them ahead of time and freeze them until 30 minutes before the party, ensuring that you pull warm, cheesy goodness out of the oven at the exact moment your guests arrive.  Basically, gougères use the same base as cream puffs.  But instead of making them sweet, you make them savory by adding lots of salty cheese, black pepper, and fresh herbs.  They are hollow and eggey inside, and are perfect for stuffing with whatever strikes your fancy. 

For the baby shower, we went with apple tarragon chicken salad:

But any filling would work.  Cold cuts, egg salad, or nothing at all- I have even made miniature ones with great success.  They are delicious with a glass of wine and a side salad for a quick dinner, and I have even had one or two with coffee for breakfast.

Can you tell I am fan?

In addition to the gougères, we had one of my all-time favorite brunch items- warm broiled grapefruit.  So easy and so pretty, you simply halve the grapefruits, segment them, and sprinkle with brown sugar.  Before serving, pour champagne over the top (it flows into all the nooks and crannies!), and broil until the sugar has melted and the grapefruits are warm.  They are so delicious and so elegant.  For the shower, we sprinkled ours with pomegranate seeds.

Fresh banana bread, a side salad, and an old standby (oatmeal chocolate chip muffins, of course) rounded out the meal, which was light and delicious. 

As we tied everything together, the extra origami paper became rather useful.  We used it to fancy up the menu, and as the background for the games we played:

And the finale of the day was another easy, beautiful and satisfying choice.  What else but strawberry shortcake?

All in all, we had a wonderful time. It was such a gift to get to celebrate Margot's arrival with Lissa and her friends, and to see all the long-distance planning come to fruition.