Friday, June 25, 2010


It has been a week of firsts. Zach's first Father's Day kicked it off, and I was finally, finally able to give him his present, which has been in the works for 4 months at least. Let me tell you, picking out a first Father's Day present is serious business. Somehow I needed to capture the awe and respect I have for Zach as a dad- and the warm sentimentlity I feel when he cuddles with Tate- and of course, my own wonderful feelings towards my dad came into play because I can only hope that Tate and Zach have the kind of relationship my dad and I do. So as I was contemplating all of this, I kept thinking back to one of my favorite memories of my dad growing up: sleeping on his chest. I would lie there and pretend to be asleep and listen to his heart beat, and feel his chest rise and fall, and I felt so perfectly safe. And I couldn't get that image out of my mind, so I decided to go with a leather chair for Zach's Father's Day gift.
But this is not just any "daddy" chair. It is the biggest, squishiest, softest, reclining chair you could ever imagine. Perfect for father-son cuddling. And the best part? It in no way resembles a recliner at all. No ugly handle on the side. And no cheap velour. You can count on Ethan Allan to come through on both the design and comfort. And boy, is it comfortable. I must have sat in 30 different recliners during this venture, and this is by far the snugliest chair in the bunch. The only bad news- it won't arrive until mid-July. So sadly, Zach didn't have much to open on Father's Day itself. But I am hoping that the moment he sinks into his cozy chair, the wait will have been worth it.
Other firsts: Aunty Lissa and Uncle Brian and Grampa Coach got to meet Tate for the first time, and a weekend of fun ensued. Tate's first baseball game! And trip to a museum (first was to the Evergreen Air and Space Museum where we got to see the Spruce Goose! This weekend his second will be to the Portland Art Museum). And he rolled over for the first time in the doctor's office at his 2 month check-up (he rolled over! At his 2-month check-up! Which is two months ahead of schedule for normal rolling over, according to his pediatrician. Isn't he the most remarkable child ever born? So advanced!). And on Tuesday he met his Grams (Zach's mom) for the first time. And on and on and on... the firsts are just never-ending.
Awe at the Evergreen Air and Space Museum...
First baseball game (it was chilly!)
At his first outdoor concert (which, coincidentally, was his second wine-tasting)
Thoughtful on Grampa Coach's lap
Which brings me to my most bittersweet first... today is my first day back at work (or yesterday was my last day on maternity leave). This has been much more gut-wrenching than I had thought. Not because I am worried about him- he is with Zach, and I don't think any daddy has ever doted on their son more. And not because I feel guilty- because really, I don't. Tate is as loved as any person ever was, and I know that he will be fine. But mostly because, selfishly, I just miss him. Flat out, fundamentally miss him. And missing someone you love, all day, every day, frankly just sucks. So I am conflicted; both happy to be back at work and not just worrying about work, but also sad to be back at work and missing baby Tate.
How about you, friends? Any words of advice for a newly working mom that help get you through the days?


  1. I don't think the missing gets any easier... I find sometimes when Molly goes to sleep, I think a reprieve is a welcomed addition but then after about an hour I miss her and want to selfishly wake her back up to hang out. I think going back to work makes the time you do get to spend with them all the more special and memorable.

  2. I went back to work when my Reese was 13 mos. It was HARD! So hard. While working children is a huge passion of mine, taking care of others babies while mine cried doors away was hard . . . missing her was painful. My milk constantly coming in everytime I cried, even more painful.

    I think the thing that does make it easier, even NOW when I stay at work and my Hubs picks her up at like 3pm, is the little things. Texted pictures, funny messages "mama over & over" and knowing she is having a good time.

    I also think just being honest helps. I never lied and said "Oh, it is ok, I love to be away from her." because while a break is nice . . . that to me was going to get a latte alone! I was always honest w/ myself, and all the annoying questions "Yes, I miss her."

    Welcome to the WOHM world :)

    - Jenny
    (LaVonne must be in love!!!)

  3. Wow, does that kid looks like Zach! Which is to say, adorable =)

    Since the close of my maternity leave is still about 10 weeks away, I have sympathy -- but no wisdom -- to offer. I suppose I'm looking forward to looking forward to seeing Annie at the end of every work day . . . and to noticing changes in her. Jay sees changes in her almost every day, since he's at work looking at the newborn pictures he has in his office, but I can't see changes since I'm never away from her!


  4. Great pictures Janelle! Say hi to everyone for me!
    Auntie Jan